Take me to Flavortown
by Loodlelood
Summary: Hope comes in many flavors. Contains Nagito Komaeda X Guy Fieri.


Nagito Komaeda stared deeply into the dark eyes of Guy Fieri, finding himself lost in the mystery behind them. He thought back on all the fond memories he had made with this man before this moment. From their first meeting during an illegal drift race to that one time that they decided to become mormon missionaries to the aliens. This man had been with his through thick and thin, never abandoning him. The two sat there amidst the calming light of the stars above, their beautiful visage as though a work of the finest art. In this moment there was nothing but heir bond. No death, no pain, and no despair. Only love. A love that had grown from the purest of friendships, taking root in their souls and flowering into magnificence.

"Guy Fieri… take me to Flavortown."

The serene light cast down from the moon on high shone brilliantly on the giant fucking robot dinosaur that fell from the sky holy shit what. The beauty of moment died with the countless crushed by the giant metal beast's appearance, and it roared in defiance of the foolish mortal's false right to live. Nagito and Guy rushed to their feat, shocked at the intrusion. The metal beast opened its maw and brought forth a great wave of flaming energy which it sent thusly towards to two lovers. Nagito and Guy threw themselves onto a nearby motorcycle and rushed up a ramp, dodging the stream of flame with a sickass backflip and landing a perfect wheelie which they continued to ride. The robotic monstrosity roared in utter hatred for all things which lived and breathed. Nagito and Guy both leapt from the motorcycle and into the air, thrusting their morphing rings into the air and activating henshin.

With a shout and a flash of light the two had transformed into the legendary heroes of hope and flavor, Hopeman and The Fieri. The metallic menace leapt into the air and deployed a barrage of missiles set to devastate the world below. The great arsenal cascaded around the two, destroying nearly everything in sight. Those that would have blown the two away were destroyed by Hopeman's laser eyes and The Fieri's atomic fists. The creature morphed into a giant robotic luchador and positioned himself in the air to give them the people's elbow. Crashing into the floor below the luchador was barely held back by the combined power of Hopeman and The Fieri, whose muscles were as great as their love. Gaining a surge of power, the two threw the luchador into the air above.

"Hopeman, let's do this!"

"نعم فعلا!"

The Fieri summoned the full power of his fighting spirit, unleashing a power intrinsic to his very being.

"THE WORLD!" Guy Fieri shouted as time slowed to a stop.

In the frozen time Guy Fieri grabbed his compatriot and threw him into the air. Time resumed and Hopeman, who had been preparing his attack before time had frozen, unleashed his Ult.

"The current situation can best be described as an afternoon possessed of a high elevation."

Taking his trusty six shooter out of his anus Hopeman took aim at his own head and fucking shot himself. Death had come for him, yet in his infinite luck the bullet had ricocheted off of his oddly sloping and erratic hair, flying off into the distance and doing two 9/11s for the price of one. The dust of the horrific accident many miles away drifted into the battlefield, coating all in a thin layer of asbestos and other wacky shit. The clouds of debris and dust entered the giant formerly dinosaur but now luchador's nostrils, kicking up his robo-asthma and leading him to remember all those times he was bullied in robot high school. It was a strange sensation, the caress of death, and those who found themselves on the precipice of this end were oft known to think in such a manner thoughts such as "Oh what the fuck man?" or something I don't fuckin' know go read a book.

With a tearful remembrance of what could have been the luchador was granted a swift death by explosion, leveling everything other than Guy Fieri and Nagito Komaeda. The two, now returned to their normal forms, embraced and made sweet lovings to the grooving beats of smooth jazz.

BUT THEN HOLY SHIT ALIENS INVADED AND NOW THEY, STILL ENTANGLED IN THE THROES OF LOVEMAKING, WERE LIKE "WE GOTTA DO DA FUSION DANCE" AND THEY DID WHILE DOING THE NAKED CUDDLES AND THEN THE FUSED FORM OF THESE GREAT HEROES SPOKE IN A TONE BEREFT OF MERCY "YALL DONE FUCKED UP" AND SHOT THE MOST BIGGESTEST LASER BEAM FROM HIS MASSIVE 4 CENTIMETER CARPET BEATER AND THE ALIENS TOOK OFF THEIR MASK AND REVEALED THAT THEY WERE OLD MAN JENKINS ALL ALONG BUT THEN NAGIGUY KOMIERI REVEALED THAT ALL WAS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN AND THAT THEY HAD REACHED THE OPTIMAL ELEVATION FOR DEPLOYMENT OF THE EXPERIMENTAL GEORGE BUSH THAT WAS TO BE RELEASED INTO THE ATMOSPHERE TO TRIGGER THE FORCED EVOLUTION OF THE HUMAN RACE BY VIRTUE OF EXCESSIVE FORCED ADAPTION TO THE CURRENT SITUATION WHICH WOULD LEAD TO A LEGION OF INDIVIDUALS PERFECTLY SUITED TO A SINGLE PURPOSE THAT THEY WOULD CARRY OUT FOREVER IN THE NEW COMMUNIST STATE THAT WAS TO BE RULED BY THE PRINCIPALS OF HOPE AND FLAVOUR WHICH WAS ONLY STOPPED IN TIME WHEN THE MAIN CHARACTER OF I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW SHOWED UP AND SHOT SOMEONE AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE "OH SHIET YO" AND THEN THEY ALL WAS LIEK "WE GOTTA BE GETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HERE SHIGGY" AND THEN THEY FUCKIN' BAILED BEFORE THE POPO ARRIVED BUT THEIR FINGER PRINTS, AS WELL AS OTHER INCRIMINATING PIECES OF EVIDENCE, WERE STILL AT THE SCENE AND LEAD TO THEIR ARREST IN LIEU OF THE ACTUAL CULPRIT WHO HAD ESCAPED FROM THE CLUTCHES OF JOHNNY LAW.


End file.
